I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
