Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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