I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.