dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
