can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
