i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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