So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
