I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
