I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
