i will never coherently bang her
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
