You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
