i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
