hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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