; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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