Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
