Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
