how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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