Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize