you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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