they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
