Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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