I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
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as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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