i don't like sucking hair
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
