I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
