K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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