Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
