Whatcha textin bout Willis?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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