Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
