Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
