We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
