He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
