am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We left an ass print on the piano.
Less talking, more tequila
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
