you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
