So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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