Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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