Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I party with great urgency now.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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