Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
