my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize