how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
