I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
