i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
