we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize