my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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