and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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