The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
