You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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