addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
