i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
