My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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