I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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