I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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