Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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