Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Randomize
