Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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