I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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