i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
