i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
