hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
