You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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