allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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