i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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