If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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