You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
