Whod you bang
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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