Your mouth is God's brothel.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
