i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
