so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
